It’s five in the morning, we’re on fire, and the party is still rolling. What should we do?

French onion soup. The odd hue is due to the inauthentic-but-nutritious addition of seaweed.

Start chopping onions.

For the fêtards (partiers) who make it until the wee hours, French tradition stipulates that you whip up a soupe à l’oignon (onion soup). Salty and very delicious after a long night of dancing and drinking, this is the quintessential end to a long soirée. For some reason,  foreigners think of this soup as sophisticated French cuisine, but it’s really just country food: something simple and satisfying, especially late at night. Note, however, that the moment you start peeling the onions you’re essentially declaring that you have no hope and/or desire to make out with anyone at the party.

Here’s a recipe that’s easy to accomplish when inebriated.

Soupe à l’oignon pour les bourrés

(Onion Soup for Drunks)

• A large bag of onions
• Water
• A lot of salt
• Whatever baguettes are still left around, getting stale in the corner
• Pre-grated emmental (Swiss cheese)

Find folks to help you chop the onions; it’s never pretty to be crying all alone in the kitchen at five in the morning. Fry the onions in a large pot; once they start to turn golden, add water. Simmer for 20 minutes or so. (Please, dears, do not pass out while waiting.) Add salt and ladle the soup into bowls. Top with cheese and slices of baguette.