An afternoon of tasting top-notch wine for free in Paris

Tipsy Pilgrim recently attended the Salon des Vins des Vignerons Indépendants — The Independent Winemakers' Expo in Paris. This cannot be more highly recommended. 

First, it's free, or pretty much free. Officially, it will run you €6 (worth it), and that goes down to €3 for students or if you arrive in a group of ten. But really, free invites seem to rain down on friends and friends of friends (those with connetions to restaurants or winemakers, or those who have bought wine at the expo in previous years).

At the entrance, you're handed a tasting glass, which serves as your ticket. You then go around to the stands and "sample" wines and brandies from all over France. If you want to stay sober, you can use the spit buckets at your feet at every stand. 

It helps to go in with an objective, as you'll never have time to visit even a tiny fraction of the stands. Do you want to learn about Burgundy reds? Cognacs? Alsacian whites? Picking one area and trying everything you can find from that region or type can be a wonderful education, and the proprietors are only too eager to explain their wares and their methods.

This is also, of course, a great opportunity to stock up on wine directly from producers, and to carefully taste your way through it, rather than relying on fickle reviewers, wine store recommendations, or more limited tastings. Fine wine is an elaborate fiction — there's an enormous variety out there, sure, but finding what you personally like has nothing to do with price or with the fashionability of the terroir or producer. And rather than taking a ridiculous and expensive wine tour of France, attending this expo allows producers from all over the country to come market their wares to you, in one expo hall, in one afternoon.

Check back with the Salon's website for their next event in Paris or the provinces, or check out this elaborate listing of wine expos all over the country (both sites are in French — use Google translate if necessary).

How French Teenagers Sneak a First Kiss

Believe it or not,[*]. the French go through that same awkward, sexually anxious stage as the rest of us: adolescence. They need strategies, games and excuses to sneak that first kiss. Fortunately, they have oodles; some of the following popular strategies may sound familiar to you, others are uniquely French.

1. "On va pas payer le métro" — "Let's not pay for the metro"

There's various layers of subterfuge in this one. If you're taking the metro or train with your love interest, suggest hopping the turnstile. Once aboard, if you see the inspector coming, whisper, "Quick, let's kiss so he won't bother us to ask for a ticket." You then slobber on each other so passionately that, in theory, the inspector will feel too embarrassed to disturb you. (This won't work — French ticket inspectors are never this easily detered — but that's hardly the point.) You'll roll together the romance of a first kiss and the adreniline rush of trying to get away with something. Bonus points: Claim there's an inspector coming even when there isn't, and quickly grab your partner.

2. Les bises au revoir — Goodbye kisses

As you probably know, the French kiss on both cheeks for greetings and goodbyes. (In some regions, les bises can even consist of three or four kisses on the cheeks.) It's an opportunity to get close that is sorely missing in most anglophone cultures.

So. At the end of a night you're chatty, you're giddy, you're looking into each others' eyes, you're saying goodbye, and you do les bises. You touch your darling's shoulder, she touches your hand, and your "bises" are just a little closer to the lip region than usual. You look in each others' eyes and — this is important — start blabbing again about something or other. Then, finally, you have to say goodbye again, and do les bises again. This time your lips accidentally — but definitely — touch as you're grazing over to the other cheek. More timid couples may go in for three or even four rounds of les bises before the finally just suck and grope each other silly.

3. Action-vérité & tourner la bouteille — Truth or dare & spin the bottle

Where would teenagers be without these classic My-Very-First-Mixed-Gendered-Party Games? Choose between "action" (dare) and "vérité" (truth) to let your friends nudge you towards your future lover, or just spin the bottle and let chance decide. Since both young men and women in France (and especially in Paris) have significant difficulties in lowering their standards for each other, a few drinks and leaving things to chance can be very useful.

4. "T'as une miette." — "There's a little crumb on your cheek"

A gambit for the timid of both genders. Spot an imaginary crumb on the cheek of your darling and — slowly, slowly — brush it off. If he or she seems receptive, add "Attends ! T'en as encore !" (Wait, there's some left!), and attack it with your tongue.

 5. La souflette — The backwards inhale

This one strikes me as fucking stupid for several reasons, but some French people swear by it. Put the lit end of a joint in your mouth VERY CAREFULLY and allow your love interest to take a drag on the other end. Perhaps your lips will touch! Or, perhaps you'll burn your tongue, fall to the ground sobbing, and have no sensation in your mouth for weeks. How romantic.

The lovely illustration above is copyright 2012 by Johanna Thomé de Souza. 

*Yes, we know the French as irresistible charmers and also aggressive assholes — both descriptions basically denote the same behavior. But before they become these highly evolved romancers that give you a single look and te plaquent contre le mur pour un bisou (throw you against the wall for a kiss) they are, indeed, awkward fumbling teens.↩  

The Foodie on a Budget in Paris: The Cutest, Cheapest, Yummiest Spots Off the Tourist Path

Eating in Paris should be all about small, charming restaurants; exquisite chocolates; and bohemian bars — not the standard tourist nightmare of snarling waiters, seven-language menus, and bland food.

To set our readers straight, Tipsy Pilgrim is delighted to present a guest post today from Kristina Dekens, an American foodie who has lived in Paris for eight years, married a similarly food-obsessed Frenchman, and spent tons of time — but not euros — devouring the best that the city has to offer.

This subject isn't quite our usual charge (this time, there'll be no suggestions for Parisian street fucking, amusements or boozing), but here at TPHQ we're constantly approached for suggestions on "authentic" Paris eats, so we think this will be worth it. Plus, Tina's advice is quite romantic; if you prefer, dear readers, think of these of as places to put you in the mood before you bonk.

There's a Google Map of the addresses at the bottom of the post.

Et voilà, Kristina Dekens...

For romantic Paris that maintains a slightly rural feel, head to Montmartre. There’s a fun restaurant for the adventurous, the Refuge des Fondues (17 Rue des Trois Frères, 18th arrondisement, +33 1 42 55 22 65). It is totally tiny and you have to actually climb over a table to worm your way into a spot. For 15 euros you get a before-dinner drink, a baby bottle of wine (yes, with a nipple), little things to eat like pickles, cheese and meat, and then a huge pot of fondue cheese and bread to dip in it. Or, you can get meat and potatoes that you cook in an oil pot. It's fun, but you may have to roll down the hill afterward because you are so full.

A few doors down there is a cute café called Au Progrès (7 Rue des Trois Frères, 18th arrondisement, +33 1 42 64 07 37). There are also plenty of cute boutiques and food shops on rue des Martyrs, rue Yvonne le Tac, rue des Abbesses, rue Houdon, rue Lepic — just wander around and enjoy.

The best pizza in Paris is hands-down at the AMAZING Pizzeria da Carmine (61 Rue des Martyrs, 9th arrondisement, +33 1 48 78 28 01), just below Montmartre. They change their hours a lot, so call to check before going. I recommend the parma (with parma ham) or the lucania (chorizo), which i get sans oeuf (without the egg).

Nearby, you have La Fourmi (74 Rue des Martyrs, 18th arrondisement, +33 1 42 64 70 35), a cheap, lively, funky bar/cafe. 

L'Avant Comptoir (9 Carrefour de l’Odéon, 6th arrondisement, +33 826101087) is a fun place for an apéro (pre-dinner drinks and hors d'oeuvres). If you don't want to have a drink and eat standing around at a bar, chatting and jostling with others, their neighboring restaurant might be more your style. The New York Times has a good take on this place. While you're in the neighborhood, be sure to walk down the old, tiny, and charming Rue de l'Ancienne Comédie, a little pedestrian street. 

My favorite place for a stroll that looks like the "real" Paris is the Rue Montorgueil (2nd arrondisement). Get out at Metro Sentier (line 3) or walk up from Metro Les Halles (line 4). It's a pedestrian street full of great cafes and shops, and, at the end, the beautiful Saint-Eustache Church. There are markets on Sundays and Thursdays. I love the Italian sandwhich place, Caldo Freddo (34 rue Montorgeuil, 1st arrondisement, +33 1 44 76 04 21). Or, there's a super yummy Libanese spot, Al Boustan (21 Rue Montorgueil, 1st arrondisement, +33 1 40 41 02 40) across the street, serving beef, chicken or falfel sandwiches for about 5€. A larger (and a little more expensive) menu is a available if you eat at the place. ‎

Near the Opera Garnier at Metro Pyramides (lines 7, 14) is a little gem of a street, the Rue Saint Anne, full of Japenese noodle houses. Aki (11 Rue Sainte-Anne, 1st arrondisement, +33 1 42 97 54 27) specializes in the Japanese regional cuisine of Okonomiyaki — it's hard to explain but yummy and unique! And for really good ramen soup head to Higuma (32 bis Rue Sainte-Anne, 1st arrondisement, +33 1 47 03 38 59). You can get  a huge bowl of fresh noodles and soup plus 7 Japenese ravioli for 10.50€. These are cheap and fun experiences with open kitchens so you can watch them cook up all kinds of crazy, steaming goodness!

Near the Beaubourg museum is l'Ambassade d'Auvergne (22 Rue du Grenier Saint-Lazare  3rd arrondisement, +33 1 42 72 31 22). Here you can have some traditional French cuisine gastronomique with an evening menu of more than you can could ever eat for 30€.  Duck, aligot (think cheesy mashed potatoes from the gods), lentils, and a homemade chocolate mousse that comes in a HUGE serving bowl —enough for 8 people — and they tell you to finish it all. YUM YUM YUM!!!!

For a little taste of authentic terroir and family-style French cooking hit up the totally delicious and verrrryyy reasonably priced Le Petit Lyon (24 rue de Vintimille, 9th arrondisement, +33 1 45 26 31 19); the plat du jour is 11 euros.

Café Divan (60 Cité de la Roquette, 11th arrondisement, +33 1 48 05 72 36) is totally yummy, with great and cheap open-face toasted sandwiches. In the winter or cooler weather you could also try their pot au feu, a big traditional French stew. For dessert, go for the duo au chocolat — it is KILLER. This little partially baked chocolate masterpiece is filled with the most delicious carmel; it makes you want to cry. (This was recently missing from the menu — if it's not there, go for the mi-cuit au chocolat, a chocolatey, molten-lava cake.) If you go there at night for drinks they may serve your drink with a little dish of olives and a little plate of homemade potato chips — yum!  

On the other side of Bastille there is a tiny, rather hidden bar à vins, Bubar (3 Rue des Tournelles, 4th arrondisement, +33 1 40 29 97 72). It's open only at night, and there are nibbles at the bar (nuts, olives, peppers) and and good wines from Chile, South Africa and Argentina. 

The Marais (4th arrondisement) is Paris' hip, funky, gay, jewish neighborhood. It's a sweet place to wander. Be sure to visit the very cute Rue Saint Paul and the village Saint Paul,  a tucked-away area with shops, galleries and restaurants.

On Rue Saint Paul at the corner with Rue Charles V there is an AMAZING, AMAZING restaurant…perhaps my favorite in the city. It's an Italian place with very haute cuisine called l’Enoteca (25 Rue Charles V, 4th arrondisement, +33 1 42 78 91 44).  Weekdays at lunchtime there is a menu with a first course, main course and wine for just 13 euros.  At night there are menus for 28 and 43 euros with a first course, main course and dessert — the more expensive option includes a wine pairing with each course, which is great as this place is famous for their wine. The atmosphere is lovely and the food is divine.

Anahuacalli (30 Rue des Bernardins, 5th arrondisement, +33 1 43 26 10 20) has really good Aztec/Mexican food. It made NY Times list of top 100 restaurants in the world and was pretty much the only one that cost under 100 euros a plate. A main course is about 14-18 euros. The magahritas are pricey though (9 euros). The hot chocolate is killer. Click over to their site for another location in the 6th arrondisement and their taqueria in the 10th.

Another place I'm really excited about for Mexican food is the Candelaria (52 rue Saintonge, 3rd arrondisement, +33 1 42 74 41 28). There's a picture of us above enjoying their lunch menu; this is a great place for taquilla and REAL fresh Mexican food.

I love the Rose Bakery, an organic deli with tons of fresh yummy food and a very English feel. Great photos, a review, and addresses for all three locations are here.

Chez Papa (206 Rue la Fayette, 10th arrondisement, +33 1 42 09 53 8) has traditional Southwestern French food. There is a fixed-price menu for 9.95 euros on weekdays. I get the hot goat cheese salad (salade au chevre chaud) and the assiette canatalaise which is potatoes, ham, a mushroom sauce and crazy-good cheese. But the whole menu is great — lots of duck and cheese and potatoes.

In this neighborhood you should stroll along the gorgeous and happening Canal Saint Martin (10th arrondisement). Near the corner of the canal and the Rue Eugene Varlin are two good little French restaurants: Le Valmy (145 Quai de Valmy, 10th arrondisement, +33 1 42 09 93 78) and, just up the street, L'Ecluse Valmy (153 Quai de Valmy, 10th arrondisement, +33 1 42 05 89 16). Both are very reasonably priced and have good food and nice atmospheres. Ecluse Valmy is a little fancier and Le Valmy has more of a fun, cosy café ambience.

If you want to experience Paris' more high-end eats without breaking the bank, fixed-price lunches are your best bet. The New York Times has a great roundup of top addresses for this.

Mose again, with just a few things to add. 

What a list! Looking back, I've visited a good number of these over the years, almost all thanks to Tina dragging me to them. These are great, great addresses.

When you're done eating, David Lebovitz has compiled a list of places for Paris' best espresso. I've tried most of these and generally concur, but he managed to leave off the very best, Terres de Café (32 rue des Blancs Manteaux, 4th arrondisement, +33 1 42 72 33 29; also at three other locations listed on its site).

For falafel, guidebooks direct folks to L'As du Fallafel (34 Rue des Rosiers, 4th arrondisement, +33 1 48 87 63 60) in the Marais. Hoards of tourists dutifully form a line down the block for this, the "authentic" and "best" falafel sandwich, but the neighboring, line-free restaurants are just as great — it's not a difficult recipe and they've copied it exactly.

Finally, Tipsy Pilgrim's favorite Parisian (non-music venue) dive bar is, without a doubt, Les Pères Populaires (46 Rue de Buzenval, 20th arrondisement, +33 1 43 48 49 22). It's dirt-cheap, a calm spot to write during the day and a suitably fun and convivial place in the evenings.

And for more listings of cheap, hip Paris Bars, head to the Bituroscope (in French, but mainly just pictures and addresses). Just call to check before going; many now-closed venues are still on their rolls.

Disagree? Feel we've missed something important? Let us know in the comments. Bon ap'! 

A Google Map of the locations listed above.

View Tipsy Pilgrim's Paris in a larger map

What do inanimate objects say in French?

Tagada tagada tagada ! Boum ! Pan ! Prout prout prout ! 

The following table will aid in communication with inanimate French objects.

Tipsy Pilgrim also has a guide for communicating with the young and animate French.

My Frenchman is a great lay but he's draining my pocketbook

Dear Tipsy Pilgrim,

I am a 32-year-old American woman who has recently taken on a French lover. While his 24 years is quite a blessing in the sack, he’s becoming a bit of a burden to my pocketbook. When we go to dinner or out to a show, he never brings quite enough cash, and I have to cover him. Just last week, he accompanied me on a rather expensive group outing that I had planned; everyone else in the group coughed up their share, but Frenchy Boy has yet to place a dime in my hand, despite his promise to do so once he "found a cash machine." What do you think is the proper way to ask him for the money he owes me?

— Creative Professional Banging Frenchie

You say he's "gainfully employed", but I take it he makes a bit less than you? This is not uncommon when dating someone younger...

--TP

Nope. His salary is three times what mine is. 

— CPBF

Well I was going to call on you to stop taking your poor boyfriend on fancy outings (or else to pay for them yourself) but clearly that’s not the issue. Frenchy Boy is being a dick. It may help you to know that in France (compared to the States) there is certainly even more expectation that men pay for dates and treat their women well. Frenchiness is no excuse for comportement sauvage. 

The next time you see him, be direct; tell him about your feelings and those of your pocketbook, and announce that it’s now his turn to pay for dates. Drive him to a cash machine if you have to. This young man needs to learn now that he can’t get away with this bullshit. Once he's no longer a drain on your wallet, you may go back to draining that lovely French cock.  

— TP

So there it is, our first installment of Ask Tipsy Pilgrim, where we take questions from TP readers on important (multi-)cultural issues. Got your own drink, party or love conundrums? Just ask Tipsy Pilgrim.