The One Rule for Seducing the French

Photo by Steve Evans.
Photo by Steve Evans.
Photo by Steve Evans.

It’s understandable that some of you dear readers want to kiss, date, fuck or even marry the French. I discourage it, though; there are so many less complicated and more fun cultures for romance and humping.

But I’ve been frequently asked for advice on the topic, and while I have none of my own, I can pass on the lovely wisdom of Stephen Croce, an American actor who lived in France for 15 years, spoke just a little French, and yet had extraordinary success in dating, when he wanted to.

“Want to know the secret to fucking French girls?” he said me one day. “Pretend you don’t want to fuck French girls.”

He’s absolutely right; possibly the worst thing you can do is ask a French girl out on a date — see for example how French expats in America are quoted reacting to that here.

The above rule is all you need, and it’s applicable for French guys as well. Wanna fuck one? It would be unwise to make your intentions apparent at first. French men, in spite of being usually thought of as overly aggressive assholes in romance, can actually be a bit hard to get into the sack — they’re terrified to be seen as “lowering their standards” for someone for instance.

So, if France is a land of full of men and women playing hard to get, how does romance ever happen? It’s certainly complicated. French people need romance to be unexpected, a coup de cœur, a smack to the heart. And so they sit around, waiting for something magical to happen. But if someone expresses interest, that person is generally disqualified. It’s thus important that two French people realize their mutual passion for each other at exactly the same time. If that spark lands at just the right moment in terms of hormones and liquor, romance just might flare.

Compared to their Anglo-Saxon and southern European counterparts, it’s rather difficult for the French to meet new people, even outside of romance. In Erasmus situations (university student foreign exchanges in Europe), I’ve often heard it said that the French students take longer to get around to chatting up new people and making new friends. This has implications for dating; foreigners are often surprised by how often French couples are just formed out of long-term friendships. In Paris I know a few typically “incestuous” friend-groups, wherein the who-is-dating-who has changed a few times over the years, but without adding new members to the group.

If all of this isn’t enough to make you want to just give up on the French, then best of luck, and may the above rule serve you well. That said, Tipsy Pilgrim strongly urges you to date the non-French whenever possible.

And remember, we have a number of articles to help. While we’re hardly a seduction site, we do provide occasional advice on getting into the pants of the gentleman or lady of your dreams — when that advice reveals the quirks of a particular culture. We thus have articles on how the local cultures consider it sexy to own “shitted pants” in Catalonia, a cow in Galicia, or a gas station in Russia. We also encourage you to kiss like a Brazilian and lose your virginity like an Albanian. There are just so, so many fun things to do, love, and bang that aren’t French.

Want to learn French (or another language)?

I obsessively learn French and other languages via the Complete language books (which are great communicative learning guides) and with  online, one-on-one lessons. Readers of this blog that want to have a free language lesson can get $10 in credit at Italki (the site that I use for learning languages). Using that link will also get me the same credit and help me continue ridiculous travels and “research” like this. Thanks!

Thanks for reading our treatises on cross-cultural boozing and boinking. On rare occasions, this site contains automatically monetized affiliate links.  As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.


  1. swift`
    February 12, 2019

    I came here to learn about the dutch, but wandered to french
    I am dying to know why you advise against dating, kissing banging the french. When I started on my banging bucketlist.. I found that frenchmen filled it more often than not, making me feel like they’re the easiest of the bunch to snag. So what are your nays on french?

  2. Josh
    February 11, 2015

    This could apply to most countries!

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